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Articles
By Reva Nelson
However, the cost of proving equality has been somewhat at the detriment of acknowledging and utilizing the differences of the genders. Now, as we are nearing the year 2000, the need to celebrate the differences and utilize them, has never been greater.
What happens when we put an idea forward and then it's not heard, until someone else says it more forcibly? What happens when we have a plan, no one seems excited by it, but then someone else says it, and hears, "Great plan, real merit to it." What about a solution that's not given any attention, but it's suggested by the next guy, and he's rewarded for it? What happens when you do a great job, but no one ever tells you so?
What happens is that:
- we clam up
- we freeze
- we feel deflated
- we feel devalued
And then we:
- stop contributing
- stop caring
- stop working so hard
- begin to look elsewhere for more meaningful work
This is true of men and women, of course, but it happens to women much, much more often and it usually goes unnoticed.
What do you need to know if you are a female in the workplace right now? What if you are the manager and you want to create the best work environment you can? What do you need to do if you are the VP or President and you want to get the most from your people in the best ways possible? What if you are the spouse or father of a female in the workplace and you want to be supportive? Here are a few specific books and ideas to help you succeed.
1. In Sally Hegelson's book, "The Female Advantage, Women's Ways of Leadership", she points out the different strengths of men and women's styles. Men tend to be more authoritarian, specific, goal-oriented and hierarchical. Women tend to be more inclusive, promoting leadership, sharing information and power, and encouraging creativity. Both styles are needed at different times and for different situations. However, in a fast-changing environment that needs ideas from many people, more inclusive and participative management is necessary. A web of inclusion and the encouragement of everyone's ideas can be learned from most women's natural style. (There are always exceptions; we all know dictator-types of female bosses, and very nurturing male bosses.)
2. "Brainsex" by Anne Moir and David Jessel outlines the innate differences in males and females, influenced by structure (the female brain has a bigger corpus collosum and it is thought the flow of information between right and left brain activities is therefore greater.) Hormones influence behaviour as well. The male hormone enhances the visuo-spatial skills and female hormones depress them. Yes, boys do better than girls at math, and even though my own sister-in-law was a math professor and department head, the ratio of brilliant math students is 13:1 male. Girls do better than boys in language, reading and writing skills. Girl babies are much more sensitive to touch and smell than are boy babies. Research now shows that indeed the sexes are born with brains wired in different (not better or worse) ways.
3. Barbara Grogan, President of Western Industrial Contractors, said that "All ships rise when the tide rises." It's my main thesis in my gender workshops and keynotes. We can't afford to waste time comparing the sexes; we need to learn how to best listen to each other and use each other's innate and different talents. In "Genderflex" by Judith Tingley, we learn how to become more open-minded and flexible toward each other. In Deborah Tannen's "Talking from 9 to 5" we learn why women often think men are egotistical and men think women aren't confident-we speak differently.
By learning about our differences, appreciating the uniqueness each gender brings to the table and knowing how to speak to be heard, profoundly heard, we can fully utilize the talents of our people. Both genders will agree, "It's about time"!